I AM



Greetings Earthlings!

I am Beverly Kho living in North side, Manila.
My name means "Woman from the beaver meadow" which explains why I look like this.
I have once lived with Anne Frank back in the 1930's. I am allergic to powder and as a result, I have never felt non-sticky.
I have my own river named 'Emotion'. I have once felt isolated from this world and tried to fit in with the Egyptians.

If anybody has anymore questions beyond art, music, duplication, relevance, obsessions, literature,
heartbreak, disillusionment, love, death, the future, confusion, delusions, homosexuals, sleep machines,
mundanes, eco-friendly and vegetarians, please don't Google my name or ask your "friend who knows about me".
Call me at your Mom's house, I'll be there having a powder party.

Ok, enough about that. As you can see, this blog is filled with Incubus that's because
I AM a big big fan of them. I look up to them and they serve as my inspiration (Sometimes my distraction. Hi Brandon)

Besides BB and Incubus, I enjoy the sights of...
...FASHION
...ART
...MUSIC
...TRAVEL

Oh, and by the way, if your not using Mozilla Firefox, you won't be able to view my posts.

Cheers!

Lawyers


INSPIRATION
"The world is a drought when out of love
Please come back to us
You're all of the above
I'm making a choice to be out of touch
Leave me be he said, he said, he said,
Leave me here in my stark, raving, sick, sad little world!"


"We're both aligned in framed of mind but circumstance has got us good
And now you’re seeing a side of me I wished no one ever would
Yeah, if it's right to pick a fight, we’re fingers in a sugar bowl
Love isn’t perfect, even diamonds start out as coal"


"Should I apologize
If what I say burns your ears and stains your eyes?
Oh, did I crack your shell?
When it falls away, you'll see we exist as well!"


"I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal
When will we learn? When will we change?
Just in time to see it all come down..."


"Was it something I said
Something I read and manifested that's getting you down
Don't you dare come to bed with that ambiguous look in your eye
I'd sooner sleep by an open fire and wake up fried"


"There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight"


"Could there be a familiar ring every time I sing about.
Cycle the tears everything in life no doubt I, I.
Reiterate till my jaw is offset,
But I'll say it again anyway,
What you give is what you get!"


"I take a look around; it´s evident the scene has changed.
And there are times when I feel improved, improved upon the past.
Then there are times when I can´t seem to understand at all
and yes it seems as though I´m goin nowhere...
really fucking fast, nowhere fast."


"I'm thinking of my soul severity
And I know everything you hate in me
Fill me up with over-pious badgerate
Throw them up; one of my favorite things"


"I hear you on the radio
You permeate my screen, its' unkind but
If I met you in a scissor fight
I'd cut off both your wings on principle alone"


"Hello!? I'm trying to focus
But my eyes deceive me.
Focus. I'm witnessing history...repeating."


"Picture the scene, where whatever you thought,
would, in the blink of an eye, manifest and become illustrated.
You'd be sure man that every line drawn reflected a life that you loved
not an existence that you hated.
So, must we demonstrate that we can't get it straight?
We've painted a picture, now we're drowning in the paint.
Let's figure out what the fuck it's about,
before the picture we painted chews us up and spits us out."


"There'd be no one to answer to
and complicate our lives,
we could be
the epitome of self sufficience."


"It isn't fair to mention, but it awes the crowd
Your fictional, plastic alibi
So take another hit, steal another line
Did you ever meet a leech who was good at goodbyes?"


"In my fantasy, I’m a Pantomime
I'll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean
Words are too messy, and it’s way past time
To end in my mouth paint my face white and tried
To reinvent the sea, one wave a time
Speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight"


"I saw you standing in my headlights
I thought I’d run you down for the weight you left on me
Instead I punched rewind, reversed and drove away
And seeing you disappear in my rear view
brought to me the word 'reciprocity'"


"You stare at me like I'm a vitamin.
On the surface you hate,
but you know you need me.
I come dressed as any pill you deem fit.
Whatever helps you swallow the truth
all the more easily"


"My secret arsenal
is an infinite, ageless inkwell
it's a fountian of youth
and a patriot's weapon of choice."


"Enough bowing down to disillusion
Hats off and applause to rogues and evolution
The ripple effect is too good not to mention
If you're not affected, you’re not paying attention
It's too good, it's too good, not to have an effect"


"I see you in line, dragging your feet
you have my sympathy.
The day you were born, you were born free.
That is your privilege."


"Mend this careless thread, it's gone askew
(Thread on my sweater is pendulous, step back and pull it
Watch it unravel faster than a speeding bullet)"


"I'm at the end of my report again
For those who won't do apathy
You had the perfect opportunity
But plead the fifth and walked away"


"What if I was just dreaming? What if I lived in a pear?
What if I had a mustard drenched cucumber tied to my leg."


"Disconnect and let me drift until my upside down is right side in
Society must let the artist go to wander off into the nebula"


"Two weeks without my lover,
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named Emotion
Will I make it back to shore or drift into the unknown."


"If this is right, I'd rather be wrong.
If this is sight, I'd rather be blind."


"Out of line, and indivisible
A crow left of the murder
Every piece contains a map of it all"


"You came, you saw, you conquered...everyone
And I'm left here guessing
Oh what went wrong"


"Kiss the sand goodbye because
the tide is coming up and in
yeah, water, water, water everywhere
and every chance to sink!"


"High fives to a better judgment
By saying less today, I will gain more
Low twos to you my fickle friend
Who brought the art of silent war"


"Some people fall in love and touch the sky
Some people fall in love and find quicksand
I hover somewhere in between
I swear…
I can’t make up my mind."


"Wake up everyone
How can you sleep at a time like this
Unless the dreamer is the real you
Listen to your voice
The one that tells you to taste past the tip of your tongue
Leap and the net will appear."


"I dream
that someday we'll be able to look back
on this together and say
It was for the best and that it
made us stronger today."


"All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again."


"He said Hey Sister.
It’s really really nice to meet ya.
I just met this 5 foot 7 guy who’s just my type.
I like the way he’s speaking his confidence is peaking.
Don’t like his baggy jeans but Imma like what’s underneath it.
And no I aint been to MIA
I heard that Cali never rains and New York heart awaits.
First let’s see the west end.
I’ll show you to my bridrens.
I’m likin' this American Boy. American Boy."


"You better think fast, think fast
'Cause you never know what's coming round the bend.
You better not blink, or breathe.
For consequence is a bigger word than you think."


"Put down your hollow tips
And kiss your lover's lips
And know that fate is what you make of it."


"'Cause' what I want
and what I need
is and will always be free."





LEAVE ME

TALK TO ME






LOOK BACK

I CAN SEE YOU

Sunday, June 29, 2008 ' 10:06 AM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

Tie the knot

So, I went to this nuptial yesterday. I just replaced my sister since she was supposed to be the one to attend. I was one of the bridesmaids. As embarrassing as it sounds, I didn't knew who were the couple getting married. So hello, out of place. I was just forced to attend this wedding. I didn't want to attend at all. Why? First, I have review classes every Saturdays, 2nd, the gown was ugh, NOT flattering, and 3rd, I look like crap. So I won't post pictures during the wedding with ME on it. Haha! I was partnered with an unknown guy which was kind by the way. While walking down the aisle, straps of my shoes started snapping. Great. Good thing my shoes had like this garter around the ankle. MAYBE people didn't notice my shoe disaster 'coz my gown was long. So in the middle of my walking, I was dragging my shoes. My partner was like, "Ok ka lang?" with weirded-out face. WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME???

When the bride arrived (with the background song of "She"), I just couldn't help myself but smile. I love those moments in weddings, when the bride enters and the face of the groom is unexplainable.

Wedding ended. Everybody off to the reception.
For some reason, I felt bad and bored that I wanted to go home but Mom said they have this "pamahiin" that nobody shall leave early. I felt like crap. I was sweaty, my gown was so tight that I couldn't breathe, feet were aching. I looked like a grumpy old woman. So, finally, I wasn't angry anymore 'coz watching the bride's friends tell their speech just made me happy. Her closest friends and her sister cried. Napa-imagine tuloy ako bigla, pag wedding ko na, all of my closest high school friends that I haven't seen for ages will be there and for sure, I would be emotional when they start telling their speeches.

They had this game. The bride picked out 13 single woman and the bride will throw 12 roses, the one who doesn't get a rose will be left out and will receive a bouquet. The groom picked out 13 bachelors and had this hoolahoop game. Nakakatawa, may isang guy dun, parang sobrang napilitan lang siya sumali then it was between him and another guy. He dropped his hoolahoop on purpose and didn't even try para lang siguro matapos na. Pero kung sino pala una maka-drop ng hoolahoop first is the winner. Haha. The host was funny, and yes, he is gay. The winner out of the 13 singles and the winner out of the bachelors were paired up. Funny talaga nung ichura ng guy kasi parang yung sobrang napipilitan na gusto na umalis. Haha. The guy inserted the garter on the girl's leg. Awkward. Next game was. The groom will kiss the bride in 3 different places and the other pair who won will repeat the action. First spot was forehead next was shoulder then hand. The groom was not taking it deeper 'coz the other guy was his brother. Haha.

We claimed our pictures and in that moment I realized how fat I was. I realized how much weight I've gained. Shit. I look horrible!

Ok, desidido na talaga ako sa pagpapayat.
HAHA.


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Wednesday, June 25, 2008 ' 9:26 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

"Release"

I've been encountering hatred lately
I don't know what is it in me that people see and dislike
I hate it when they make me look like a fool
They make you feel that you're the stupidest person on earth.

I hate the awkward feelings
I hate the silent treatments
I hate the jealousy
I hate the pretends
I hate it.

I don't know where I would place myself
Nobody cares, nobody understands
If only I could be more outspoken, I could've told them everything I felt
I wish I tried to live in the different environment when I had the chance.

I want to try new things and explore the world outside my box
I wish things would go back to what they used to be
It was so much easier.

Everyone puts me last
Even the people I trust the most.

I cry myself to sleep thinking what did I do wrong to deserve this
I try my hard to be a better person to everybody but then
Unappreciative attitudes and hatred is what I get.

I lost them.
I miss the happiness,
The effortless feeling of happiness
The laughters and the shared secrets.

In this hardship, I learn to be independent

I will just have to depend on myself.

It all makes sense now.


Need I say more?

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Monday, June 23, 2008 ' 8:10 AM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

A very tragic story.

Once upon a time a girl named Beverly auditioned for the choir at her school. She is not fund of singing in masses and dancing to "High School Musical" songs. She just auditioned so that she will have something to write about on what extra curricular activities she joined when she enters in college. Everything was last minute including what song she'll sing. Auditions will begin after classes. During her last subject, she finally decided on what song she's going to sing. Since she adores Incubus, everybody knows that, she sang "Here In My Room" and planned to sing while she plays the piano. Regarding the fact that she doesn't quite know the lyrics.
Choir auditions began. A lot of freshmen auditioned.
Finally, it was Beverly's turn to sing. She wasn't nervous at all but when she started playing the piano. She felt like her heart was ready to explode. She didn't knew why she was nervous at all. Everything started great. But when she started missing out on the lyrics, she lost a bit of the piano playing too. She just hummed over the words she didn't knew and just played instrumental on the part that she doesn't knew the lyrics.

She felt embarrassed after her performance and just stood and stared blankly at space for a couple of minutes.
Her friends did great but one of her friends unintentionally duplicated what she did. She also felt nervous and forgot the lyrics. They felt each other's pain. They talked over the phone and released their regrets to each other. They both felt relieved after talking to each other.

The End.

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Sunday, June 22, 2008 ' 8:00 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

BEWARE! CRIMINAL!


HAZEL CHARISSE MENDOZA GALDO
Beware of this creature. I bought an item from her at her online shop, which she recently deleted. Good thing I only bought one item from her and it's just for P350. but what I'm concerned is that I gave her my shipping details. Bobo.
She's not answering her phone. I think she changed her sim card.

Grrr.
Lesson to learn: DO NOT BUY ITEMS FROM ONLINE SHOPS WHO HAS FEW BUYERS.

I found her unupdated personal multiply site.
I have plans. I'll catch her. Bwahaha.

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Saturday, June 21, 2008 ' 5:03 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY!

(pic taken at Bar One, Crowne Plaza Hotel, Manila. March 8, 2008)

June 21, 1976.
You will always be my Guitar Hero♥

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Friday, June 20, 2008 ' 5:21 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

Yet another one folks

June 3, 2008
(Delayed post)

Another 'Incu-dream'. It's very weird, a lot of skips and random people suddenly appearing. It's a bit blurred too.

I heard that Incubus is coming around again for the 3rd time! so I couldn't let this pass.
Me, My sister, and Mara together with her friends went to an Incubus concert. The venue was like where Broadways were held. Our seat was the elevated side beside the stage and it serves as a backstage also, hirap i-explain but that's where the artist enters and exits.
I made a new friend but I forgot her name, something like Sally, Sissy, whatever.
It was not actually an Incubus concert coz' other members weren't there, only Brandon. He sang to a minus one. Hahaha.
I asked my sister to take videos and use macro while I take the pictures using my SLR. Mara took pictures too. Me, Mara, and her friends planned to ran in stage in the middle of the show. Since it was easy for us to do kasi nga due to the place of our seats. So we did, we ran towards Brandon and we hugged him and kissed him. I felt his abs! his hair was so soft, and he smelled good.
My sister caught the whooole thing in video. The show had a break, like a 10- minute break. Brandon was playing the piano that was placed beside the front row seats. People were just looking but surprisingly, no one 'attacked' him.
No one, but me! hahaha. I went to him and stood at the back of him while teaching him to play "Here In My Room" in piano. I was a bit annoyed cause he couldn't get it. haha!
The show resumed and B sang "Wish You Were Here". (Yes, it was in minus one, which wil never happen. Of course.) He went down the stage and started singing to the people in front and to be fair, he went to every spot. From, middle and at the back. People were going crazy. The minute he went down, I hugged him and didn't let go. All mine! hahaha.

When the show ended, B exited where the audience should exit and i don't quite remember if people chased him or just I alone chased him. I think it was just me. So i chased him..
I had a loooong run and found myself in a villa surrounded by nature. This part, I wasn't after Brandon anymore, I was after this famous woman who borrowed my mom's shoes. Weird huh? she was hiding from me but I still got the shoes.
After that, I saw B and I told him how much I adore him and all that..He just smiled then I decided to go home, on the way to my ride, there were multiple children parties that were hosted by the GMA stars. 1st one was with the Revilla family next was a party hosted by Pia Guanio, third was with Marian Rivera.
Irrelevant much? hahahaha.

My Kuya fetched me then when I rode the car, I woke up.

It was weird coz' during all this, I didn't quite felt that it was Brandon, I kinda felt that he was someone else. The aura just wasn't there. awww, sad.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008 ' 7:58 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

White Fluffy Clouds

You might think I'm such a loser but who cares? haha.
I will get Brandon's first book, "White Fluffy Clouds"! I asked my Auntie who lives in the States to buy me the book at Amazon. I also asked her to buy B's second book, "From the Murks of the Sultry Abyss" at B's site
but the site asked for her personal information and she said that she doesn't give those details out. Awww. But it's ok.

Hey, I know the book is ages ago. No, di naman. Exaaage. I think it was released around 2004? I read the book over the internet before but I still want the real thing you know! I will receive it on July 8 (Me and B's 4th ;)), when Auntie arrives.

Finally man! My dreaming of owning this book is over! and I'll keep on dreaming of owning the 2nd book until I finally own it. Haha. Whatta plan nalang.

I'll post a picture when I get it. Watch out.

Oh yea, before I forget. Please do check out my online shop, Theindigoshop.

Thanks!

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Monday, June 16, 2008 ' 9:42 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

One step beyond

Today is the second week since classes resumed. I just finished doing my homeworks. I feel so accomplished! hehe.
I can't believe I'm a senior already. It's like memories of freshmen or sophomore days are still fresh in my head. hehe. Parang dati, nung grade school ako, parang feeling ko ang tatanda nila and soooobrang tagal pa bago ako naman. Oh well, good riddance OB Montessori. Hehe, loko lang.

I'm fixing my forms for college. I'm still waiting for my 2nd form in UP. I'm not expecting to pass and I just signed up for that school just coz!...Ugh, It's fun? nah. Haha. Wala lang. My top schools are: DLSU, ADMU, UST, and PIID. Seriosly, I'm still confused on what course I'm going to take.
I wrote Communication Research and Creative Writing in my UP form but my parents talked me into taking Interior Design. I do want to take interior design, that was my plan years ago but I'm trying to consider other courses which will suit me like International studies and Tourism just 'cause I have this love and passion for travel, but I do love art and literature. Shit. I'm confused.
Oh well, I could always shift I guess.
I'm starting my review classes with Ana and Lau. Guess what? classes starts at 7:30 AM! Gotta love that. It's like another extra day of school! Niiiwwww! haha.

Anyways, I'm loving our French teacher. He (or She?) was very entertaining.
Bonjour! je m'apelle Beverly. Enchantee! Hehehe.
Labo. Talagang nag-French. hehe.

Shoutout to Ana! Welcome to the blogging world! hahaha!
PLUG! here's her very first blog. Ana's blog
In my opinion, her blog should be entitled, "My first blog" with the little stars and some baby stuff. Haha! Peace Ana!


"Darken the city, night is a wire
Steam in the subway, earth is a fire
Do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo do doo doo

(guitar - ten ne ne ne ne nen)"
- Duran Duran
Haha, That song is stuck in my head for hours!

And oh yeah, please do kill Ashlee Simpson for singing her song, "Outta My Head" Did I mention how that song is so irritating? Irritating! Trying hard much. Shempre galit na galit ako. Haha.

Ok, need to go feed my ostrich. Bye!

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Monday, June 9, 2008 ' 6:23 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

1 out of 2 LOVE.

As what I've mentioned yesterday, today is me and my heroes's 3rd monthsary. Haha. I love you guys.

Got this from http://brutalgrace420.multiply.com

Forgive me for the consecutive posts about Incubus. I just can't help but cherish those best two days of my life! hahaha.

I actually go to my blog less than I usually do. It's not every 5 minutes anymore. Hahaha! Just coz! whenever I see the pic that I took of them arriving in Crowne Plaza (See yesterday's post), I feel so stupid of NOT shouting their names and approaching them. Gaaarrrr. So close but yet so far.

Ok, enough about my regrets. Talking 'bout it won't bring me back to that day anyways.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, tomorrow is...HELL DAY! Nah, just kidding. School's back once again, time runs so fast huh? I'm not completely done with the things I have to do. So, I'm kinda excited and at the same time not. But it's more on the NOT side. Haha.
Hello early morning wake-up calls and bye-bye 2am sleeps.I also have to apply for college. Application forms and stuff. I just wanna skip 4th year and go straight ahead to college! haha.

Last Saturday, I hanged-out with my betches, Lauren and Pat! Hi guys!
Wala lang, Me and Lau went to school to buy supplies. Bookstore closed. GREAT. Bambi Fuentes to get my bangs fixed and meet-up with Pat narin. We saw someone hairy. Go figure. haha. Sama ko talaga.Then inquired for our review classes, got our nails done at Tips 'N Toes.Pat went home so Lau went to the condo, did some random YET fun stuff.Talked to Innah in webcam with mic! MISS YOUU INZ! Released our hatred to someone 'coz Innah feels the same way. Actually, si Lauren lang. Ako, confused pa ko. Haha.
That's pretty much it.

Btw, I had a suuuper weird and orgasmic dream last night. Gross, I know.
(Take note: I was not in the Orgasmic part, I was just watching. Ok, eww.)
Blair was in it! Yes, Blair from Gossip Girl. Everybody's fashion icon. Haha.

See you friends tomorrow!

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Sunday, June 8, 2008 ' 2:41 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

The day I'll NEVER forget.



Happy 3rd monthsary Brandon!

I will never forget that date, MARCH 8, 2008. First time I saw my
Hahaha.


And tomorrow is Me and Incubus's 3rd monthsary. Two different kind of LOVE.
I LOVE YOU B.

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Friday, June 6, 2008 ' 1:32 PM
I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away...

We give in sometimes

I haven't accomplished something in the past few days. I have a lot of things to take care of. School stuff, review classes for college, get uniforms altered, etcetera etcetera. I haven't started! and I have 3 days to get all those things done! Yikes!

Ok, lately I've been spending time with my couch, my bed, and my other groupies. Hahaha. Since my hopes of spending my summer in abroad is ruined, I'm just waiting for summer to be over. Sad, I know. So, I think I'll just blog about what I've been watching in the 'idiot box' since I've been hanging out with my couch as what I've mentioned. Haha.
So, I watched the finale of the latest season of "The Bachelor" last Tuesday. This is the only season that I really watched since the very beginning. I was anxious to know who Brad is going to pick. It's either Jenni or Deanna. First one to arrive was Jenni, and Brad turned her down. So, obviously Deanna is the one he chose. But guess what? He turned down Deanna too! Brad chose neither one of them! haha. After meeting 24 women, he still ended up as a bachelor? So because of that, the show had to make an "After the final rose" episode where Brad gets to explain to both girls why he didn't chose any of them. Take a look at this.





Ugh! I hate the audience's facial reactions. Tsk. Haha.

Oh well, everything happens for a reason. Kudos to both girls for being so strong.
I might have slit my wrist if I were them. Haha, kidding.

Ok, back to panic mode. Must organize things in head. (Robot tone)
HAHAHA!

By the way, I just finishing uploading Me and Bea's "Beeaaaccchhh!" video. I edited it and stuff.

GO CLICK!

GO CLICK! (another version)

Here's something for relaxation and to clear your mind, and mine too ;) ENJOY!

boomp3.com


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